Hold on to your shields, folks, because things got weird in [City Name] today! A man dressed as Captain America, or at least, a rather enthusiastic version of the star-spangled Avenger, allegedly triggered a series of bizarre incidents across downtown.
Witnesses reported seeing the ‘Captain’ engaged in activities ranging from ‘patriotic interpretive dance’ in front of City Hall to attempting to ‘liberate’ pigeons from a park statue. The most serious incident involved an overturned Nathan’s Famous hot dog stand after he reportedly tried to pay with Monopoly money and was denied.
‘He came running up, yelling about defending freedom and wanting a dog with all the fixings,’ said a visibly shaken hot dog vendor, Maria Rodriguez ‘When I told him we don’t take play money, he started ranting about Hydra and flipped the whole cart!’.
Local police were called to the scene and are currently searching for the individual, who was last seen heading towards [Landmark] chanting ‘No surrender, no mayonnaise!’
While some are finding the humor in the situation, others are concerned about the potential for further disruptions. Is this misguided patriotism, a publicity stunt gone wrong, or something more? We’ll continue to update this story as it develops, so stay tuned!